Re-charging

I recently lost my job, and have some time on my hands. This is a familiar situation for a lot of people my age (I’m 31). Applied for E.I., but hope I don’t have to use it long, or at all. Maybe I’ll have another job by next month.

A good thing that will come of this is reminding me of my dependence on wages. Sometimes I forget that this is the major reason for having a job – as much as I’d like to think that I’d work for free just because doing so furthers good causes or provides meaning. Getting laid off is a reminder that when you suddenly find yourself without a job, you’re pretty screwed until you can find another. It’ll also remind me how much money I’ve been spending on crap lately. (By ‘lately’ I mean over the last like 5 years…)

It’s also interesting to reflect on the ‘problem’ of having time on your hands. I usually think I’d love more time to sleep in, watch movies, and just relax. But the novelty wears off quickly.
I was thinking about what it means to have time to ‘re-charge’. I think re-charging involves re-discovering something important that you forgot, or reconnecting with somebody you care about that you had become distanced from…something like that. Otherwise you don’t re-charge so much as just atrophy. I don’t think doing nothing (or more accurately, doing a bunch of meaningless little distracting things to ‘keep busy’) re-charges you. [It’s a different story if you’re just flat out physically and mentally exhausted. When you need sleep, you should sleep. When you need time to sit and meditate on an issue, then ‘doing nothing’ is exactly what you need to do. And daily chores like cooking and cleaning up after yourself are necessary, and can even be meditative.] Now that I’m all caught up on sleep, I need some inspiration; not sitting around watching TV or shuffling my computer files and belongings around in an effort to ‘get organized’.
I keep thinking about eco-economics, and how if I’m not careful, when I die there will just be a huge collection of might-as-well-be-random DATA left in my wake. And that’s it. Not synthesized into anything useful or creative, just data. Filed according to a system that probably made some sense to me, but likely not to anybody else. Data sans context. Sans meaning. I also keep thinking I should try to do more ‘to-do lists’ that are actually good deeds or meaningful projects. Not just go take empty bottles to the depot, or re-organize my computer files. Those things are fine, but not enough.
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